Wednesday, January 14, 2015

4 Ways to Find Quiet Time in Your Noisy Day

        
"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." 
Matthew 6:33
 
I'm sure you laughed out loud when you saw the title with "quiet time" in it.  Trust me, I know.  I have three kids ages 6, 3 and 1 and sometimes our house is just...plain...crazy!  There's no quiet time going on around here, that's for sure!  In fact, I look at this picture and think:  "Will there ever be a day when I can grab a book and find a nice grassy spot and just read or journal?"  I know there will be, but right now that just doesn't seem possible.  Maybe you feel that way too! 
 
The truth is:  I value quiet time.  Since becoming a mom and since I've gotten older, I value quiet time now more than I ever have before!  I need quiet time to reset and refocus.  I value time with the Lord to refresh and regroup.  I want to hear His voice and feel His presence.  I want to have conversations with Him where I can truly share my heart as well as listen to what He has to say.  I'm sure you do too.  So, how can we as busy moms get the quiet time we need? 
 
Here are 4 Easy Tips I've learned to help you find quiet time in your noisy day:
 
1.  ADJUST YOUR DAY BY JUST 5 MINUTES:  Get up early (not for me, but it works for some!) or stay up later (I'd much rather do this!)  By adjusting your day by just 5 minutes on either side, you will have 5 precious moments to yourself to read, pray, journal, or just listen to God's voice!  Or you could even get up earlier and stay up a little later for a bonus 5 minutes each day!

2.  TURN OFF THE TV:  I know...I know...after the kids go to bed or after you come home from work or after you clean up the kitchen (or all of the above), you just want to veg out on the couch and do nothing too.  I'm not asking you to give up that time to relax--you deserve it, but before you turn on the TV, take just 5 minutes to be quiet and bask in His mighty presence! 

3.  DON'T TURN THE RADIO ON IN THE CAR:  I never turn on our radio in the car...well...mini-van.  In fact, I think at one point when my husband had driven the van and left the radio on, my daughter was surprised that there was music playing!  It was almost like she didn't even realize that the van could play music.  That tells you that I never have the radio on!  Why?  I need quiet.  The kids are loud enough the way it is.  I don't need to have extra noise on top of them!  Riding in the car is a great time for some silence.  That may sound crazy to you-especially those of you with young kids who are cranky or fighting in the back, but somehow I can tune them out...somehow, I can magically transform my mini-van driver's seat into a sound proof capsule where it's just me, God and the road!  Even when I'm the only one in the car, the radio is off...well, except for an occasional worship song or two! 

4.  TAKE AN ADULT TIME OUT:  After having my third child, I lost that beautiful two-hour naptime/quiet time that I once had in the middle of the day.  I lost that blissful two-hour I-can-get-caught-up-on-dishes-put-away-laundry-pick-up-the-house-and-have-time-left-over-for-facebook quiet time!  Between my youngest son's crazy nap schedule, my daughter giving up taking a nap altogether (because otherwise bedtimes were crazy!), and having to pick up my oldest at school, I lost that quiet time.  I lost it all!  I wondered why I was so drained and cranky by the end of the day, and I realized it was because I didn't have any quiet time!  So, lately, during my youngest son's 43 minute nap (ugh), I require that my daughter go down in the basement to watch her show so the house will just be quiet for a moment!  I needed that adult time out!  It is then that I can ask God to give me patience to make it through the afternoon.  And for moms who work outside the home, you can take an adult time out by having lunch by yourself sometimes so you can enjoy some silence and spend time with the Lord.

And if all else fails in the attempts to find quiet time in your noisy day, you can always remove all the noisemakers from toys and pretend you're just doing "surgery" on your child's bear like I did!   Aaaaaaah...silence!

Father-Thank you for giving us our children.  As noisy as they are, they are such a blessing to us.  Help us to find little pockets of time throughout our day to just be quiet and still before You!  Help us to seek You, Lord, in all we do as moms.  Allow us to hear Your voice and follow Your wisdom as we raise our noisy children to love you loudly.  And Lord, give us quiet moments even when it's not quiet.  In Jesus' name. Amen.







How do you find quiet time in your noisy day?




4 Simple Tips for Setting Goals

I know...I know... it's so cliché to talk about setting goals at the beginning of the new year.  It's what everyone is talking about, and frankly it can sometimes be annoying--at least to me it is.  But there's got to be something to goal-setting, right?  
 
The answer is "Yes."  Goal-setting works.  It's a great way to stay focused and move forward.  It's a great way to strive to get the best out of life.  To start off our new year together of weekly encouragement, I'd like to share 4 Simple Tips for Setting Goals that have worked for me.  These tips will help you not just set the goals but accomplish them too!  Wouldn't that be great?
 
4 Simple Tips for Setting Goals
 
1.  Write your goals down.  Goals in your heart and head need to be come out from the pen in your hand.  
 
2.  Make your goals visible.  Put them where you can see them every day and all throughout the day.   (I put my goals on my bathroom mirror.)  They will be there to remind you what you're working towards and help you say no to distractions getting in the way of your goals.  
 
3.  Tell your goals to someone.  By sharing your goals with someone else, especially someone you trust, you will gain encouragement, prayer, and accountability.
 
4.  Make your goals realistic.  Goals can be big.  Goals can be little.  Obviously goals should challenge you and help you do things that you wouldn't normally do, but they also need to be attainable.  Look at your current circumstances, your work load, your responsibilities with your home and children, and set goals that will push you forward and not break you down. 


What are your best goal-setting tips?
 

Friday, January 9, 2015

Why Motherhood is Like a Casserole by Elaine Mingus




They are hungry...again. With six mouths to feed, nourishing my children can feel like a never-ending task.

I raided the fridge to figure out what I could shovel in their mouths for the umpteenth time that week. I had no dinner plans, but I did have cheese, corn tortillas, ground meat and some leftover beans. Victory! Or at least I hoped.

Depending on the day, my children may or may not decide to "like" one of those ingredients.

With that in mind, I opted against adding a can of salsa for fear that the meal would be shunned because of the tiny slivers of "yucky" vegetables.

Without a recipe, I layered the corn tortillas with the bean/meat/cheese mixture. It was when I was adding a little bit of this and a little bit of that that I realized that motherhood is a lot like my makeshift casserole.

Most of us know the basic ingredients to making a casserole. (If you don't, never fear! There is an easy recipe at the bottom of this post!) We know that what goes in this time might not be exactly what we do next time, but as long as we have most of the right stuff the end result will be tasty.

In the same regard, we've all read books and blogs telling us how to be the "perfect" mom. We spend a majority of our time during many gatherings confessing our motherhood mishaps and receiving well-meaning advice for overcoming our parental obstacles.

When we return to the kitchen of our children's hearts, we are equipped with the recipe for becoming a good mother. But like all the mothers before us, we remember some of the ingredients while accidentally forgetting others.

In essence, when we are in the middle of this mommy thing, we wing it -- just like I did with my casserole.
 
Being a good mom is exactly like making a good (recipe-less) casserole.
 
As long as we mostly understand how to raise kids, our children will be successful humans -- each slightly different than the next but wonderful nonetheless.

It's when we leave out key ingredients like love and respect that our children will be seasoned with bitterness and hatred.

So today, don't worry if you haven't added all the right ingredients to being "the perfect mom." You're not required to follow an exact recipe, you just have to get it mostly right!  Just remember that love is like butter...and you can never add too much butter!

EASY MOM CASSEROLE
  • 2 Cans Beans (do not drain)
  • 1 Lbs. Ground Beef
  • 1 Tablespoon Season All
  • 18 Corn Tortillas
  • 2 Cups Grated Cheese
  1. Brown meat and season with spices
  2. Mix in beans anad heat
  3. Layer casserole dish with corn tortillas alternating meat/bean mixture with layers of tortillas
  4. Top with cheese

Elaine Mingus is a Christian performance poet, blogger, homeschooling mother of many children, & fiction writer who wants to inspire her readers to greater depth in Christ. She is an avid reader, ex-bulimic, ex-heroine addict/drug dealer, wannabe missionary, evangelist, and journalist. Her personal motto is "Changing the World, One Baby at a Time."
 
Visit her blog:  Super Radical Christian Writer Chick

 

Thriving the First Days of Becoming Mommy (EBook Devotional) 

FREE DOWNLOAD Friday(1/9/15) and Saturday (1/10/15) ONLY!!!



Thriving the First Days of Becoming Mommy by Elaine Mingus - Available on Amazon.com
No one warns us about motherhood. Or maybe they do and we just weren't listening. Thriving the First Days of Becoming Mommy acknowledges that moms spend most of their time keeping up with the new task of caring for a new baby and that their Bibles always seem to sit out of arm’s reach. Thriving the First Days of Becoming Mommy includes a month of short devotionals new moms can digest while tackling nursing, diapering and the whole new world of motherhood. With uplifting and humorous stories, the author, Elaine Mingus, explores her first days of becoming a mommy with the wisdom that comes from having six children. It functions as a gateway back into the swing of having a quiet time with the Lord, despite being busy with a new baby.

DOWNLOAD NOW!!  AVAILABLE FOR FREE TODAY Friday(1/9/15) and TOMORROW Saturday (1/10/15) ONLY!!!

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Fun 14 Item End-of-the-Year "Employee" Evaluation for Your Kids


End of the Year Evaluation for Your Kids!



 
My husband and I always set goals with our kids.  As we were discussing their goals as a family during lunch today, my husband and I started joking around about how funny it would be to evaluate our kids.  So, we created an "employee" evaluation for them.  It was all fun and games until we realized just how much more "job training" was needed in the Leeb household for 2015!  :-)  
Enjoy!  And please let me know what you would add to this list in the comment section! 

1=Unsatisfactory        2=Needs Improvement           3=Meets                      4=Exceeds

 

1.  ______________ Morning wake up time

 2.  ______________Overall ability to eat provided breakfast

                                    A. ___________Neatness

                                    B. ___________Complaining

                                    C. ___________Table manners

                                    D. ___________Completion of the meal

                                    E. ___________Number of requests during the meal

                                    F. ___________Ability to accept variety

                                    G. ___________Pace of consumption

 

3.  ______________Overall bathroom habits

A.  Making bathroom notifications with sufficient notice before it’s too   late!

                                    B.  Aim and accuracy

                                    C.  Honesty and ability to admit that the “Pee pee dance” is actually a “Pee Pee
                                          Dance”

                                    D.  Clean wiping and toilet paper usage

                                    E.  Hand-washing

                                    F.  Flushing

                                    G.  Flushing BEFORE hand-washing

 

4.  ______________ Getting dressed

                                    A.  Fashion sense

                                    B.  Speed

                                    C.  Accuracy—especially with getting shoes on the right feet

 

5.  ______________ Playtime

                                    A.  Sharing

                                    B.  Taking turns

                                    C.  Kindness to siblings/friends

                                    D.  Independence

                                    E.  Inventory Control (not losing their toys)

                                    F.  Proper clean-up methods (not putting dolls in the dryer)

 

6.  ______________Overall ability to eat provided lunch  (every meal in our house different!)

                                    A. ___________Neatness

                                    B. ___________Complaining

                                    C. ___________Table manners

                                    D. ___________Completion of the meal

                                    E. ___________Number of requests during the meal

                                    F. ___________Ability to accept variety

                                    G. ___________Pace of consumption

 

7. ______________ Getting Out of the House

                                    A.  Length of time to gather and put on all necessary items

                                    B.  Number of times you need to be told to gather and put on all necessary
                                          items

                                    C.  Going to the bathroom before putting on all necessary items which need to
                                          be removed before going to the bathroom and then put back on!

 

8. ______________Overall ability to eat provided dinner  (every meal in our house different-especially dinner!)

                                    A. ___________Neatness

                                    B. ___________Complaining

                                    C. ___________Table manners

                                    D. ___________Completion of the meal

                                    E. ___________Number of requests during the meal

                                    F. ___________Ability to accept variety

                                    G. ___________Pace of consumption

 

9.______________Bathtime/Bedtime Routine

                                    A.  Splash control

                                    B.  Thorough cleaning

                                    C.  Getting out of the bath the first time asked

                                    D.  Teeth-brushing

                                    E.  Length of time to get pajamas on

                                    F.  Number of story time interruptions

                                    G.  Getting tucked in

                                    H.  Not getting back up out of bed for any reason (other than another hug!)  ie-
                                         another drink of water, sudden need to pee pee, an invisible owie that needs
                                         a band-aid, etc.

                                    I.  Staying in bed all night--in your OWN bed!

 

10. _____________ Behavior and Self-Control

                                    A.  In restaurants

                                    B.  In grocery stores

                                    C.  In church

                                    D.  In car

E.  When told “No”

F.  When asked to do something

G.  Length of pout

H.  Sassiness

11. ______________ Overall cuteness
 
12. ______________Overall snuggly-ness

 13. ______________Overall creativity

 14. ______________Overall attitude

  

What areas need to be improved the most for next year?

 What can our family do to encourage one another in 2015?



What would you add to this list?


For a PDF copy, visit the 4Real Moms website (www.4realmoms.com) or click on this link: Fun 14 Item End-of-the-Year "Employee" Evaluation for Your Kids

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

The Number One Way to Enjoy Your Christmas More

"Be still and know that I am God." 
Psalm 46:10
Yeah right...be still.  It's Christmas!  I've got to wrap presents, get the stocking stuffers ready, make some toffee bars, prepare some spinach dip, make sure our clothes are all laid out, get our donations boxed up, and before I even get started on anything tonight, I have to clean up after a day spent with my three messy kids!!!
Be still.  I wish!
"No really", God says, "be still."
And so I do.  I walked into our living room and I sat down just for a minute and stared at our Christmas tree.  It was beautiful.  I sat in the silence surrounded by a big, giant mess and I was at peace--which is unusual for me.  I stared at each light.  I looked at every ornament and smiled thinking of a fun memory of either my grandma, my parents, my childhood, or my own children giggling as they hung them on the tree just a few weeks ago. 
I breathed.  I was thankful for those giggles.  I was thankful for my children and my husband and the mess that surrounded me.  I was thankful for this season to celebrate the birth of our King! 
And in that still moment, I felt the Lord asking me to wrap less and laugh more...to prepare less and give more...to complain less and help more...to be less worried about all the little details and be more focused on being grateful to have such a wonderful family and a loving God. 
And now I'm ready to enjoy my Christmas more...all because I took some time to be still. 
Do you want to enjoy your Christmas more too? 
I encourage you, dear mom, to take some time to be still in your mess.  Be still and just breathe for a minute.  Be still and enjoy the silence.  Be still and forget about your to-do list.  Be still and just be.  Be still in the presence of our Lord and know that He is your God who loves you. 
Be still.
Merry Christmas, moms, from my "be still" moment to yours!
Now go be still and tell me what the Lord reveals to you...


Thursday, December 11, 2014

Our Traditions: 4 Simple Ways toTeach Kids to Give

Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD your God which he has given you.
Deuteronomy 16:17




My son, Ben, has always had difficulty giving.  Even when he was a baby, he struggled to share and take turns.  Pretty typical, I know, but now that he's six, he still has difficulty sharing sometimes, and asking him to give something away has been frustrating. 

Even toys he hasn't played with in years all of the sudden become the "it" toys when we suggest he give them away.  He wants to keep every toy or book he ever received.  He never wants to give anything away.  He struggles to give. 

So how do we teach our kids to give? 

Even though Ben doesn't love to give--yet, he has learned to give. 

God calls us to give as we are able, and so my husband and I have always wanted to plant the seed of giving in our children from a very early age.  So, where did we begin?  We realized that it had to start with us...with the expectations we had...with the traditions we created.  We decided to be very intentional about setting an example of giving in our house year-round, and especially during the Christmas Season. 

And our kids are catching on. 

Isn't that how it works?  Kids do what they see?

With the little seeds that we've planted, we've seen Ben grow in the area of giving.  Seedlings of compassion have begun to sprout in him.  He's wanting to help others often.  He talks about how sad he is for people without homes, and just the other day, Ben willingly gave away his first book!  I know that may not sound like a big deal, but it was. I was so proud of him. 

The "giving traditions" that we've started with our kids are small and simple, but, like a seed, we know it will continue to grow, take root in our kids' hearts, and become something that flourishes in their lives and in the lives of others. 

Giving will become something that they just naturally do because it's something they've always done.

It is my prayer that the giving that my kids will do in this world will show God's love and beauty.  The giving my kids will do in this world will become gardens of love and hope...peace and joy. 

Do you want to teach your kids to give more? 
I hope you will join me on this mission to raise kids that give!


Here are the 4 simple ways we've taught our kids to give:  

1.  Santa Gifts:    We have each of our kids pick out a toy to leave for Santa to take to a boy or girl who doesn't have any toys.  The kids help pick out the gift, wrap it, and write Santa a little note along with his milk and cookies. 
 

 

2.  Cash Stash:  Before I go anywhere this time of year, I always make sure I have plenty of one dollar bills to give to those dedicated bell ringers who brave the wind and the cold to collect money for the Salvation Army.  I have my kids put the money in the container and explain what the money is for.  Now that they are older, I'm going to have them bring a little bit of their own money to give as well.


3.  Adopt a Family:  Adopting a family is one of my favorite ways to give.  I've always taken the kids with me to shop for the families.  This year was especially fun as I allowed them to help me pick some things out for the two little boys in the family.  We had so much fun buying toys and discussing what the boys would enjoy playing with. 

4.  The Giving Box:  This is our newest tradition.  This year the kids will pick out two toys to give--one for Santa to take and one for The Giving Box which we will drop off at our local shelter for women and children.   The Giving Box has now become our newest addition to our home as well.  The Giving Box is now going to have a permanent place where we can all put things that we would like to give away to someone in need all throughout the year.  This was where Ben put his first book to give away!  I know this will be one of many things Ben will give away from now on!


Father, help me to instill a spirit of giving in my children.  Provide ideas and opportunities to give to others to set an example of Your love.  You give so much to us, Father.  Allow me and my family to give to Your precious people in need.  Open our eyes and hearts this Christmas season to see how blessed we are and how much more we can always be giving to others.  In Jesus' name.  Amen.


What are ways that you teach your kids to give?

Monday, November 17, 2014

Out the Door: 4 Easy Tips for Avoiding the Rush, Rush, Go, Go!

"...‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”
Acts 20:35


I'm exhausted--is it May yet?  Seriously, I'm not kidding.  How many days of school are left?  Don't get me wrong.  I love that Ben is learning so much:  learning how to spell and write words and draw people and tie his shoes.   
 
 


All that learning is great for Ben, but let me tell you what his mommy has learned about herself since this whole getting-3-kids-out-the-door routine started.
 
#1:  I am not a morning person at all.  I never have been.  I never will be.  I hate it. 

And #2. Getting three kids out the door by myself every morning by 7:35am is incredibly challenging...to say the least! 

Actually, I wish it was just up and out the door, but it's not.  

It's getting up, getting dressed, going potty, washing hands, changing a poopy diaper, feeding everyone breakfast, trying to throw back some food myself, going potty again, washing hands, getting redressed, brushing teeth, changing another poopy diaper (of course, right when we're ready to walk out the door.  And I must confess that already I've knowingly put my youngest in the stroller with a poopy diaper (many times) so we can be on time.  Gasp!  I know.  He's my third and I've learned that he'll be ok). WHEW!  It's quite a sight, I'm sure. 



Growing up, being on time was unheard of in my family.  Being 5 minutes late meant that we were right on time and being early...what?  Well, that never happened. 

Getting ready to go somewhere was chaos, and I am determined to break that habit with my own family. 

Ideally, I would love to have my son leave the house with a healthy breakfast, pleasant conversations and hugs instead of rush, rush, go, go, hurry, hurry! 

Frustratingly enough, I've found how difficult those habits from my childhood are to break. It seems that no matter how hard I try or how early we get up, our morning still ends in that rush, rush, go, go, hurry, hurry!  Plus, "Don't forget this and don't forget that" has come out of my mouth more times than I'd like to admit, so I realized that I can either settle into this same old routine, or I can find ways to do what I can to make improvements in our morning.  And hopefully with just a few easy adjustments, our mornings will go a lot more smoothly.  

Here are a few tips that have helped us be on time (sometimes even early!) every day so far. 

1.  Have everything ready the night before:  Clothes, shoes, socks picked out.  Homework done.  Lunch made.  Back pack packed.  Everything that needs to be signed...signed.  Snack ready if it's snack day.  Everything for school is ready before we go to bed. 


2.  Don't press snooze:  I always negotiate in the morning when the alarm goes off (especially when my youngest gets me up 6 times throughout the night!)  Conversations in my head go like this:  SNOOZE--"I won't do a hot breakfast."  SNOOZE--"I won't get Nathaniel dressed--heck, I don't even have to get dressed."  SNOOZE--"We'll just do breakfast on-the-go."  SNOOZE--"Maybe he just won't go to school today..no wait...I can't do that...I have to get up right now!!!" 

Trust me, it's always so awful hurrying everyone out the door...especially my molasses kids (seriously, they are so sweet but SO SLOW!)  I'm cranky.  The kids are cranky.  And it's not the way I want to start my day.  I've realized that getting those extra 9 minutes of sleep each time has ruined the start of our day. 

Don't do it!  Get up.  Have some quiet time.  Get the day going.  Have more time to eat breakfast and spend time with your kids.  Believe me, I know how hard it is not to push snooze. 
 
I crave that extra 9 minutes, but I always end up wishing I had that 9 or 18 or 36 extra minutes back especially when I'm frantically trying to stuff arms into coats, fingers into glove holes, and heads into hats. 

(I wish I could say I followed my own advice on this one more often, but man, those extra 9 minutes can be just glorious!)


3.  Set a timer:  Figure out the latest you can leave the house in order to still be on time and then set the timer for 30 minutes before that as a reminder to everyone that it's time to start the process.  I don't know about you, but even when I think we have plenty of time, there will always be the inevitable smelly diaper or the "I have to go potty!" or rain or traffic or a train.  I've learned that if I start the process 30 minutes before we absolutely have to leave, then we may just make it!  Not always...but there is at least a little more hope!

And for those of you with snow this morning, I'd make it 40 minutes so you have extra time to scrape the car!


4.  Make a Check list:  Like I need a reason to make a check list!  :-)  Seriously though, having a checklist on our back door has been so helpful.  Before we walk out the door, we can check to make sure we have everything we need.  Plus, I can use it to encourage and empower my son to know what he's responsible for doing before we head out the door.  This way, we can at least shoot for being early and just pray that we are, at the very least, on time!  Impossible, you say?  It has been helpful so far.  We'll see how it goes... 

Here's the link to our morning checklist:   http://www.4realmoms.com/resources.html
My 6 year old is learning to read, but the pictures definitely help him know what he needs to do.  You can download it and even edit it to meet your needs.



Lord, You teach us that it is better to give than to receive.  Help our mommy hearts to be giving to our kids no matter what they need.  Lord, help us to find balance in teaching them what they can do for themselves and what we should be doing for them.  And help us to do those things with joyful hearts.  

Lord, You call us to be good stewards of our time.  Help us to find balance in work, school, and spending time with our kids.  As our alarm sounds each day, help us to get up and praise You for the day.  Be with our attitudes and our outlooks as we serve our kids and do all of the other "jobs" that moms have to do.  Give us joy as we continue through this school year, and give us wisdom to be on time, if not early, everyday.  More importantly, be with us and our children wherever we may be going!  In Jesus' name.  Amen.


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Do you have any Being On Time Tips?  Please share in the comments!